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Below are the 11 most recent journal entries recorded in Le maudit Mo D.'s LiveJournal:

Wednesday, October 4th, 2006
9:31 pm
Monique here...
This is the Livejournal presence of Mo(nique) D*v***.
This is not a puppet, or a puppet life.
I just want to read other people's livejournaling.
You can read my blog at maudit.austinimprov.com
Friday, October 17th, 2003
12:17 pm
A difficult life for puppets
I was just sitting here TRYING to have a conversation with Gus about how crappy us puppets get treated by non-puppet-type people (basically everyone except Mo and Bob and that nice Shannon guy). He is, of course, trying to talk to the chef about fois gras, but The Chef is ignoring him, too. I think Gus gets ignored a lot by everyone but me. He also ate all the nutty bars, which bugs me, since I only got one.

I found this article, and I know that I am not the only puppet that has experienced puppet hatred.

I cried when I read this. The world is a scary place. I am scared of being eaten or used to wipe up spills. MOstly, I am scared of human people hurting my feelings, and using me as a punching bag for their own sad lives.

That poor, poor puppet. I think I should stay away from children.
Tuesday, October 14th, 2003
2:10 pm
sometimes humans lie
Sometimes humans lie. Even ones who say they love you. Mo and Bob left me and Gus at home while they went on their road trip. We were left home with The Chef who probably wanted to rub us with coffee and broil us. Of course, Mo says that there is no way anyone wants to eat coffee-rubbed puppet and that it's not like I'm a sheep puppet or anything.

So Mo and Bob left for three days and Gus started being weird and I cried a lot. Until I decided to steal Bob's car!!!!!

I found the spare key but Mo didn't pin my arms on me so there was no way I could have steered. I thought maybe I could run over Gus. Or at least go get some more pop tarts.

Another boring day. I think Mo and Bob are starting to forget about us puppets.
Friday, October 3rd, 2003
2:38 pm
Humans are weird and gross
I'm back at Bob's house, spending lots of time with Gus. We've had some good conversations, mostly about oats and the dictionary, but we talked about feelings too, and about Mo and Bob, and about Largo, the other puppet. I am supposed to be getting a bat puppet friend/pet at some point, but Mo hasn't made the bat yet.

Largo got very mad at Mo and Bob yesterday because, well, me and Gus are loved and he really isn't. "Sometimes puppets don't work out," Mo explained. Largo said mean things about me and Gus. He called Gus a tard!!! That's so mean!!!

Gus and I were scared and confused last night when we were sitting on the bedside table, and the lights were on, and Mo and Bob were sort of rolling around on each other and moaning. I was very confused, and Gus told me not to look, but I thought maybe they were hurting each other but then they were kissing, so I am very very confused.
Friday, September 26th, 2003
12:20 pm
Life Right Now
Greetings, Puppet Fans! It has been awhile since I have updated this, owing to the fact that I've been spending a lot of time in Mo's purse.

I got to go out ONCE this week, to the theatre where Mo and Bob do improv. Bob brought Gus along, and that was the first time in DAYS I had seen Gus. Gus is the same. I don't think he changes much. Apparently, he's been spending time in Bob's laptop case. Mo's purse still has that stupid brush that keeps poking me.

Mo and Bob have a creepy friend who kept touching me in a bad way. I don't think I like him. Mo says he didn't mean to hurt me, and that he thinks because I'm a puppet he can do things like that, but still, that was wrong and it creeped me out. Also, Mo and Bob have a nice friend named Shannon who told me I'm pretty! Yay! Mo says that he has puppets of his own, so he knows how to treat us puppets.

I havent' been eating Pop Tarts so much lately. I still miss Gus, evne though he didn't have much to say when I saw him. Mo says I'll see him tonight. Good. I guess.
Saturday, September 20th, 2003
10:10 am
dinner people suck
I am very confused. Very, very confused by this concept of "friends." Mo had a dinner party, which seemed good at first because I got to meet her roommate Lydia and some other friends of hers. So, while everyone was eating, Mo came and got me off of her bed, and brought me out to meet everyone. AND THEY WERE SO MEAN TO ME!! One guy in particular made fun of my teeth! I know my teeth are crooked and brown! I started crying and didn't talk to anyone! They were mean to me for being shy. I guess they expected me to be really funny, but I'm not that kind of puppet.

Bob and Mo are very mad about this. It says a lot about people.

Yesterday otherwise was pretty dull. Gus slept the whole day. I rode around in the trunk of Mo's car. It smells moldy back there.

Wednesday, September 17th, 2003
11:03 am
Hello! Yesterday was a pretty good day! I sent an e-mail to BOB!! (the best guy EVER) yesterday while he was at work BEGGING him to bring me some Pop Tarts! And you know what? When he and Mo came home last night, you know what they gave me? A box of brown sugar and cinnamon POP TARTS! YAY! Pop Trats are made by a company called Kellongs, and I want to work at Kellongs someday, maybe in the tasting division.

Also, Bob and Mo took me and Gus on a ride in the car. We went to Bob's work and saw all the computers. They were all very computery and loud.

The house is all quiet again. I had a scare a few days ago. Gus was packing a suitcase and grumbling about leaving. It was weird because he was packing Bob's clothes into Bob's suitcase. Bob thought that he was donating his clothes to charity out of repressed sock guilt, or maybe because Gus hates Bob's clothes. But as it turns out, Gus was experiencing WANDERLUST. And he never made it past the front door! Good thing we got to go for a ride in the car last night!

Today, Gus and I are going to eat POP TARTS. If I know Gus, he will stare at his for a long time before taking small nibbles off the corners. I will gobble mine up! TASTY! Because we are puppets, we do not toast our Pop Trast, because we cannot operate a toaster.

Monday, September 15th, 2003
2:44 pm
sad stories on sundays
I am made of a sock. Before I was Elizabeth, I spent a lot of time on Bob's feet. I think a lot of sentient beings (including puppets) often feel like they've spent a lot of time on someone's feet, being a sock. Fortunately for me, Bob has nice, nonstinky feet!!!

SOCKS ARE NICE! Here is why:
1) Socks are warm.
2) Socks keep feet dry.
3) Socks keep people from getting blisters on their feet.
4) Sometimes, socks come in nice colors and patterns. Mo has a lot of cool socks.

Sometimes, I am glad I am not argyle. Othertimes, I think the argyle sock puppets might know something that I don't.

Bob tucked me into bed last night and told me and Gus a bedtime story. Mo was not there, so we got to sleep in the comfy bed. I slept next to Gus, who is a total snorer. I think he poked me with his pins a few times through the night. Bob's bedtime story made me kind of sad. I cried a little bit before I went to sleep.

Today, the house is quiet and the cat is loud. Largo talks to the house sometimes. Largo is an unemployed game show host, so he tries to make deals with the house. It is silly. Mo took off his arms and gave them to me. So now I have arms!!!

Yay arms!!!! Still no new dress.

Mo's roommate has met exactly zero puppets. Gus and I should meet her sometime.
Sunday, September 14th, 2003
12:53 pm
the inside of a purse is dark
Hello! Thank you for coming back and reading about me, even though I am just a puppet with a crappy dress. Mo has STILL not made me a new dress. But the good thing is, she took me out yesterday!!!! They went to two restaurants and Mo did not take me out of her purse until they were DONE EATING, meaning they in no way wanted to share food with me. At the punk rock pizza place, Bob offered to buy me a beer and then DIDN'T! But I had a sip of his.

The four of us (Mo, Bob, me, Gus) had a heart-to-heart about my feelings for Gus. Gus is SO not interested in me. BUMMER! But, I think I only like him because he's the only other puppet here! Besides Largo, who is weird and I think too old for me. So I am broadening my horizons. I am also reading a lot of boox. Like my spelling of "books"? Feel free to use boox.

Boox I like:
The O'Reilly "Practical C Programming" guide, makes my brain spin like a blender!!
Mo reads romance novels. I picked up one she was reading, "Heart on the Line," but then threw it down immediately because romance novels are GROSS.

Mo's purse is dark and her hair brush kept jabbing me in the face! I stole a dollar from her wallet. I wonder if she'll notice.
Saturday, September 13th, 2003
1:46 am
I am very lonely. Very very lonely. Mo and Bob are gone all day and they don't take me with them. Bob said he would take me to his work and introduce me to people and I am very excited about that! He also told me to not let Gus eat more dry oats. Apparently that is a huge problem here.

I don't know what to do about Gus!!! I think he may have Asperger's Syndrome. I don't think he loves me at all. I am sad. So sad! My googly eyes did not come with tear ducts, so I cannot cry! Mo was too cheap to buy me tear ducts!

Actually, I hope Mo will take some time out of her so-called "busy weekend" and make me a new dress. The one I have now is only held together with pins in the back and it makes my butt show. I need a new dress! She has felt letters to put my name on my dress. It is going to say LIZ!

I almost wrote a poem about Gus and my feelings for him today, but then I remembered I have no hands. Must ask Mo for hands! Largo, the crazy game-show host puppet with the gigantic styrofoam ball eyes, has hands. I want hands!

I guess I should be happy for what I have. But I don't have GUS! All he said to me today was "ADIRONDACK." FUCK THAT!!!!!!!

I love him.

It hurts.
Friday, September 12th, 2003
3:40 pm
on the table
So, let's get started. For those of you who don't know me, hi. I'm Elizabeth. I am a puppet. I was created by a girl named Mo. She's 27 and very smart, and she seems to like me a lot. She got me this here livejournal so I can put my thoughts and feelings on the web where countless strangers can get to know me!

Not a whole lot happens to me. I mainly just lie around, though I've read some pretty good books about MySQL and PERL today. I've thought about becoming a Linux administrator. Or a dancer. Or possibly a cheesemaker. There are lots of options open to puppets that previously weren't available to us.

I had a daydream today that I, as a Linux administrator, was playing poker w/B. Gates and he bet a billion dollars and lost to me because I am so great and so noble, as an open source advocate. So then I got his billion dollars and bought a new Volkswagen and started my own company and donated a big chunk of money to worthy causes like battered women's shelters and stuff. Cool, huh?

I am impossibly crushy on Gus, the other puppet who lives here. He is a bit monotone, but very nice. He's so cute!!

Okay. More later.

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